PUTTING CHRIS BROWN WHERE HE BELONGS!

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Funny Jokes !When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he couldn't increase my pay, but if I told him the names of the three men he'd fire them. I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tissues. My husband's business is rather up-and-down - he makes yo-yos. When Bernard got fired from his last job they were really tough. They made him hand back his keys to the executive toilets, return his company credit card, give back his company car, and even give back his ulcer! Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds - now he owes fifty-five million. I once knew a couple who were in the iron adn steel business - she did the ironing, while he went out stealing.

A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO BASE A RELATIONSHIP ON

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Funny Jokes ! An American businessman sent one of his Advertising/ Marketing people to Rome to try and get the Pope to record "Give us each our daily coke." The P.R. man came back empty handed. He had offered the Pope $500,000 dollars and had been turned down. His boss commented, "Turned down half a million bucks! I wonder how much the bakeries are paying him?"

CAN YOU SPOT THE FAIL - EXTRA LOL

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Funny Jokes !There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?" The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02". The mathematician said "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof." The attorney stated "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4." The trader asked "Are you buying or selling?" The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice "What would you like it to be?"

GIRL GAMER VS BOY GAMER..!

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Funny Jokes !A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?" The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"

EX GIRLFRIEND GETS THE WIN

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Funny Jokes !A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."

BEFORE AND AFTER!

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Funny Jokes !The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post. "Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily. "Three hundred bucks," replied the young man. Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said "Here's a week's pay -- now get out and don't come back!" Turning to one of the supervisors, he said "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?" "He doesn't work here," said the supervisor. "He was just here to deliver a pizza!"

WHEN YOU SEE IT

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A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza. When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter get it. There a clerk asks him: "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?" The central banker replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."